But seriously, nothing has changed here at the Tina Station. Keep on doing the Information Technology thing to become a professional hacker. If you found yourself saying.. "I always knew she'd be good at that!".. then, it's still funny. Those people make ridiculous money! hahahahaa...
Me and Freedom are doing fine. We're both becoming a bit more jealous than usual, but that's expected in this lifestyle.. let alone one that where you don't live together. However, thank god I couldn't see myself with anyone else.. or else there could be some bad repercussions.
At this moment in time, I'm pretty much just missing my family and friends. I think about Brian and Elizabeth more than I ever imagined. I miss them so much. I feel like I'm missing out on so much time with them that I NEED to be there. I want to let them know that I'm there for them no matter what, however it's hard to do when you're on the other side of the planet.
I'm missing Rachel entirely more than what should be natural for a friend to miss a friend. I feel like she's a really big part of who I am, and I've left part of it in Kentucky. That girl has made me who I am.. we've grown up and matured together. It's an amazing feeling, and I never take for granted when I do meet a true friend. Because you don't meet many in your lifetime. I just think if anything ever happened to her.. I would literally be lost. I mean I obviously would go nuts and go off the deep end if anything happened to my daughter or husband obviously.. and it is a fear, but much easier to deal with when those people are in your lives on a daily basis. Now don't think I don't count my blessings with that.. my family is obviously very important to me but it's just a unique bond that Rachel and I have. I have had friends before her obviously in my teenage years..etc. But we met in 2000... looking for friendship and trust... company... we just found that in each other. We were alike in so many ways, however we have our differences. No matter what we love each other and will be there for each other. I can honestly say I'd take a bullet for that girl. I don't think we're even on the "friends", or "acquaintances" list.. anymore. We joke.. but I really think she's my sister. I've always had to search for family outside of mine (except for my sister obviously) for the feeling of a true family, and I found it with her. We have always tried to be there for every important moment in each other's life. It was important to us as well. Every birth of a child, every moment that was hard to deal with alone, embarrassing moments, sad moments, funny moments, to cheer each other up. It's just so hard to pinpoint the meaning of life and what it means. But we've always tried to figure that out together. I truly know in my heart I would never find another friend like that. I always thought being a military wife, I'd find other friends. But I can honestly say that I am not sure that anyone could ever replace what i found in her. She's changed so much, grown up, been so responsible, would do anything for anyone.. she's intelligent, she's so strong and confrontational and I love her so much. It sounds odd when you say that about someone that isn't your family, but to me, she is my family. 19 when we met and now we're 27. That's a pretty long time. Sharing every dream with each other, seeing each other change.. It's just really hard to talk about. Just trying to find friends here makes it 10 times more grateful for what you had. If she ever needed me I'd be there. Don't care where I am... They've got planes, trains and cars... I guess I just really miss her, I DO miss her. I knew I would have to move away from her eventually being a military wife, I just never knew it would be this hard. I love my husband, he is my support system. But Rachel had always been there in our hard times. she had always been there when I had to talk to someone, she was there was I got pregnant unexpectedly.. she was there when I was embarrassed, hurt, confused, excited, she was there when I needed someone to talk to for anything. I literally pray every night that we do not separate or grow apart. She's just that one person in my life that I need to be there. She's got a conscience like me, got so much love in her, and good will. She's been the person I've leaned on for so long. It has been a long year.. and one more to come. I just pray that we stay close throughout that year. I really miss her. It's hard to say to her, but I honestly feel she is the only person in the world that really knows "me". Fears, Faults, Ups, Downs. I've cried so many times being without her it just sucks. I'm beating a dead horse now... but I will end it with, I miss you Rachel... Thank you, for being you.
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